Lost and Found
by Savethellamas
Summary: The Doctor enters the TARDIS and closes the door behind him with a small, mournful slam...he's lost another one. Set sometime between Journey's End and The End of Time.


This is my first attempt at Doctor Who fic, so I hope it proves satisfactory. All critiques and reviews are appreciated. Please excuse my lame attempts at technobabble. Thank you.

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_The Doctor enters the TARDIS and closes the door behind him with a small, mournful slam. He drags his feet as he heads to the controls and pulls a few levers aimlessly, not caring where the TARDIS takes him. Once he is satisfied, he collapses into his chair with his head in his hands._

_He's lost another one._

_It was only meant to be a quick stop in London, just to check on Donna and her family. He wasn't even going to stay long enough to speak to Wilf or Sylvia. Just a quick look to make sure Donna hadn't remembered him and then he'd be on his way to ensure that she continued to forget. Anything else would have been too dangerous._

_But of course, trouble had to come-it is drawn to the Doctor like a magnet, and try as he might, he can never shake it off. Before he had reached Chiswick, not even five minutes after he had exited the TARDIS, a Sontaran spaceship landed in the middle of the streets of London…_

The Doctor pushed his way through the screaming herds of people towards the Sontaran ship undetected by the fleet on board. Using his sonic screwdriver, he began to reverse the polarity of the anti-gravity locks surrounding the ship's kinetic force field. If he could do so before the Sontarans disembarked, the ship would automatically be transported away from Earth and back into space.

He managed to dismantle the first layer of the force field without any difficulty but before he had finished with the second, he heard the sounds of laser rifles and screaming Londoners. It was too late. Before he could react, or do anything to help the victims of the attack, two Sontarans grabbed him and marched him away from the ship.

"Oy, let go!" he yelled. The Sontarans ignored him as they dragged him to their commander. One of them pried the sonic screwdriver from his fingers and tossed it to the leader.

"Give that back, right now! I'm warning you, taking my sonic screwdriver is a very easy way to get on my bad side. And trust me, you'd much rather be on my good side."

The Sontaran commander removed his helmet and sneered at the Doctor. "What primitive threats are these? We have taken your only weapon, although sonic devices are useless against the might of the Sontaran Empire to begin with."

"Permission to speak, Commander Stok," one of the Sontarans holding the Doctor grunted.

"Granted."

"This being was destroying the antigravity locks before we captured him with that device. He is not human, sir. We must-"

"That much was clear to me already. No human would have the courage to challenge the might of the Sontarans in such a disrespectful manner!"

"You might be surprised, Commander –Stok, was it? The future of the human race contains infinite possibilities. One day, they might even be able to stop a Sontaran fleet without any outside help," The Doctor grinned cheekily. "And I already know they're capable of stopping you with me on their side."

"You see the destruction and death my troops have brought against these pitiful beings, and yet you think your assistance will save them? Who are you to make such impudent remarks?"

"I'm the Doctor." Commander Stok blinked in surprise. "Oh, now you've heard that name before, haven't you? I'm the one who stopped General Staal when he tried to convert Earth's atmosphere. I suppose you're here to pick up where they he left off. It won't work."

"And how do you plan on stopping us?"

"Oh, I usually manage to think of something."

"I grow weary of your inane chatter!" Stok responded, picking up his laser rifle and aiming it at his foe, "Sontarans, rejoin the battle. Your assistance is no longer needed."

The two Sontarans released their hold on the Time Lord and retreated, rejoining the slaughter.

"Do not try to flee, " Stok added. "This rifle is equipped with a paralyzer beam and I have just activated it. You should feel honored, Doctor. I do not typically bother with such cowardly tactics."

The Doctor refrained from answering. He looked over Commander Stok's shoulder and to his astonishment saw a blonde woman hiding from the Sontaran attack. She turned and saw him watching her. Something about her gaze seemed familiar, but it couldn't be…

"ROSE!" he yelled, "Over here! Hurry!"

"Who are you calling to? I see no one!" Commander Stok barked.

_Brilliant, the Doctor thought. Even now, when he has me at his mercy, even when he's surrounded by his fellow troops, he can't turn his back to an enemy. _

She was walking over to him now, still behind the Sontaran leader, and therefore, unnoticed by him.

"The neck! The neck!" he cried, "Come on, use your bag!"

She only stared at him quizzically as he gestured wildly.

"What is this nonsense, Doctor? Will you die with honor or as a babbling fool?"

"Neither thanks. Now, Rose! The probic vent-sorry, the hole thingy on the back of his neck. Hit it with your bag!"

General Stok finally realized what the Doctor was referring to and began to turn, seeing the woman behind him. But before he could raise his laser rifle, she had already swung her bag. It hit the probic vent dead on and he fell to the ground gasping and wheezing.

"There, that should take care of him for awhile," the Doctor said cheerfully, "Now, I think it's time to get out of here, don't you? Allons-y!"

He grabbed his companion's hand and ran with her past the waging battle into a deserted alleyway. Once he had closed the door and lowered the shutters, he turned to speak to her.

"Hello there, Rose! I have to admit, I'm very surprised to see you. How did you get back to this universe?"

She didn't respond. Confusion was still etched in her face.

"Well, you went back to the parallel universe didn't you, with the human Doc-oh, hang on. Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no. I'm sorry. You're not Rose, are you?"

She shook her head.

"No, of course you're not. You look a lot alike, but Rose wouldn't have hesitated back there-no offense."

"None taken."

"But if you're not Rose, then why did you listen to me in the first place?"

She shrugged. "You looked like you needed a bit of help. And besides, I was curious about those…creatures."

He grinned. "Oh, I like you, seems you're a bit like Rose after all. Those are Sontarans, trying to take over the Earth. Course, I guess that's obvious by now. Anyway, I'm the Doctor. I'm going to stop them and if you're willing, I could still use some help."

She agreed without hesitation and together, they outlined a strategy. The next few hours were a blur to the Doctor, but he remembered disabling the second layer on the antigravity locks and neutralizing the paralyzing device on the Sontaran laser rifles. The woman led the Sontarans within range of the ship's kinetic force field just as the Doctor finished rewiring the ship's teleportation device. Once they were ready, he activated it, drawing the Sontarans back into their own ship as he himself teleported out of it.

He ran to his new friend as the ship began to enforce its emergency takeoff procedures automatically. Laughing, he hugged her, but she did not return his embrace.

He stepped back, observing the look of horror in her eyes. "What's wro-"

She pushed him to the ground just as the Sontarans fired a long distance laser ray from their ship. It hit her square in the chest as she fell to the ground screaming.

"NO!" The Doctor yelled, picking himself up off the ground and scrambling over to her motionless body. A ring of surviving Londoners began to gather around them, still with terror written all over their faces. He turned to them, as though looking for someone that could help him. They stared back in utter confusion.

He turned back to the woman, who was opening her eyes slowly. "Sorry," she mumbled.

"No, no, don't talk, don't apologize, you're going to be fine. I can help you, see, I'm not a human either. I'm a Time Lord, from the planet Gallifrey."

"Doesn't surprise me. I guess you have a spaceship or something too?"

"Yes, yes, the TARDIS," he said, encouraged, "I was going to invite you to travel with me after we were finished but-no, hold on, you've got to stay awake. Please!"

She smiled sadly and closed her eyes. Her body became still. He sat at her side for several minutes, not moving or speaking.

"Sir," a man from the crowd said uncertainly, "She's gone. There isn't anything you can do."

The Doctor turned and looked at the man with blankness in his eyes, "There never is," he said sadly.

"What?"

He could hear the sound of an ambulance approaching. "Take care of her," he muttered, getting up and walking away.

He made it to the next street, where the TARDIS stood waiting for him. Suddenly, he turned back around, staring at the now deserted street.

"I never even learned her name…"

* * *

Now he travels through time and space once more, on his way to see more of the universe's most beautiful and terrible sights, and all he can think is that she should be there with him. He hardly knew her, and yet her death still affects him because it's entirely his fault.

Of course, he is glad that the Sontarans are gone and London is safe once more. But what is the point of his interference if people are still suffering and dying? If any person who tries to help him loses their life in the process, then what does the world gain from his assistance? One day, it won't be enough. And then everything will burn.

He is so tired of being the only one who can stop Sontaran fleets, Daleks, the Master, Cybermen, the only one who can save the world. The pressure drives him mad. No single being should ever have that much responsibility and yet the Doctor has no choice but to bear it time and time again.

As he adjusts the dimensional stabilizer, he remembers Donna's family. He'll have to go see them another day. Then again, ignoring them might be for the best, if Donna's just another person he lost. And the worst part is that she doesn't even know how he failed her. She can't remember Pompeii, the Ood, or the Medusa Cascade, but he can. And even now, he can hear her voice in his ear.

He can hear her begging him to save just one family from the volcano, because after all, isn't that what the Doctor is supposed to do?

He tries, Donna. Oh, he tries. And he would still go back and save everyone if he could. But he can't.

Now she's screaming at him to "do something!" while the Ood slowly approach them with murder in their eyes.

He'd like to. But sometimes even the Doctor has to realize that nothing can be done.

The twenty seven planets are missing and Donna's begging him to find them. "Tell me, what are we going to do? You never give up!"

No, and he never will. Even when the entire universe turns against him, the Doctor fights against it.

But sometimes, he loses.

And when the Doctor loses, people are lost with him. People like Jenny, Astrid, Donna, and Rose…the list goes on forever. Now this poor woman has joined it, doomed to die just because she looked like Rose Tyler. When the Doctor saw her, he saw a chance to fix one of his biggest mistakes and to recover what he thought he could never have again. Instead, he destroyed another life.

He often wonders how people like her can sacrifice themselves for him so easily. When he tries to be a guardian, he ends up as the bringer of death and destruction time and time again. How can people throw away their lives for that?

Suddenly, the TARDIS's phone rings. Confused, the Doctor picks it up and answers.

"Martha, is that you? I thought you were on your honeymoon."

"I am, but never mind that. Are you alright?"

"What?"

"UNIT just sent word of the Sontaran attack in London. What happened?"

"Oh, that. Yes, I'm fine, sent them away, just as usual. Come on now, Martha, you didn't think a single fleet of Sontarans could take me out, did you?" In spite of himself, he begins to grin.

"Well, I had to check," Martha laughs, "I don't think the universe can do without you just yet."

So after everything, he realizes, she still worries about him. She still cares.

She has to leave now and go back to her husband, leaving the Doctor on his own again. But this time, strangely enough, it doesn't bother him.

Maybe the Doctor will never understand why humans continue to fight for him and stay by his side. Maybe he'll never comprehend that the pain he causes is overshadowed by the hope he brings.

When his companions worry about him, he probably won't understand how they can still show so much love and concern after all of the horrible things he has shown them. It would probably astonish him to know that for every person he has hurt, there is another person whom he has saved. The woman he just met is dead, but she died proud of how she lived her life and can still watch the Doctor from above with a smile on her face. Rose remains trapped in her parallel universe. Captain Jack has to keep on living forever. Donna can't ever remember how amazing life can be. Nonetheless, all of them continue to smile and it's all because of the Doctor.

He might never find all the people he has lost but he can fight on in their honor. And the next time the universe turns against him, maybe the Doctor will find a way to smile as well.


End file.
